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Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!


Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

(Source: tiniestcostume)


Anonymous asked:

Hi, sorry, you probably don't want more suggestions on inclusive things, but have you considered just saying LGBT+? That way it's all-inclusive and only one more extra syllable

I dig it, also worth considering

Sex and Death

Sex and death
Death and sex
My mind is filled with sex and death
Homicide of a horny bride
Fornication before cremation
Murder most foul of a girl on the prowl
Spilt blood of a sex-starved stud
Fucking and Sucking
Slicing and Dicing
Asphyxiation sounds quite enticing
From Byron to Macbeth
Romance and death
Have plagued minds more clever than I
But still I will write
Of my stimulating plight
Because I was told to write what you know
Hormones or psychosis
I should get diagnosis
Before my fantasies become too real
But then my pills will go from three to four
And I’m not sure I know how to take anymore
Swallowing for other people’s thrill
So I’ll lie here thinking, like a body so still
Death and sex
Sex and death

scaretris asked:

Lotta people use MOGAI now, which is Marginalized Orientations, Gender (identities), And Intersex people. That way everyone fits with no extra letters that need to be added.

definetly worth considering, I do kinda like the sound of it. (tho it does remind me of Gremlins). The two issues are a) once again I gotta change my words and fuck that b) if someone asks me what it stands for I’m almost definetly gonna forget (plus it’s so technical it sounds like a disease). Anyway, I will consider if this is worth the effort. In the meantime I will go with the LGBT and/or cool fag community

Time for another reason the GSA doesn’t like me: I will always call it the LGBT. Any more acronims and it just starts to sound silly. Do Asexuals deserve recognition? Sure, but I just don’t care enough to add that extra syllable. So I’ll defend you/fight for your rights if you need it, but as always, fuck learning new words.

lady-currls asked:

it honestly depends what u mean when you say bisexual. a labels only real purpose in that context is whatever one makes you the most comfortable. a more recent definition of bisexuality is to be attracted to the same gender as yourself, but also other genders. the only real distinction is that /usually/ pansexuals try to put emphasis on the fact that gender doesn't matter in the terms of what they can be sexually attracted to where as bisexuals say that gender does affect who they are sexually

gotcha, well I like the gender doesn’t matter thing, but changing my vocab sounds like work so fuck it, bisexuality forever

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